Giving Them Back- Part II Discipleship
“I desperately want to be able to say to my children, ‘Be just like me because I am trying to be like Jesus.’ It’s bold. It’s scary. But it is intentional discipleship.”
“You, however, have followed my teaching, my conduct, my aim in life, my faith, my patience, my love, my steadfastness, my persecutions and sufferings that happened to me… continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.” (2 Timothy 3: 10-11; 14-15 ESV)
My daughter inherited parts of my personality. She is a little fiery. She is a little stubborn. She loves to imitate me, too. At five years old, she wants to wear my jewelry, my makeup, and my shoes. And my son couldn’t be more of a twin to my husband. It’s almost unbelievable how much he favors his dad. And I love it. It makes my heart skip to see him model his dad because I can’t think of anyone else I want him to be like when he grows up.
Let’s dive in. Last week on the blog, I introduced the idea of returning our children to the Lord. If you missed it, go check it out! My greatest calling as a mom is partnering with my husband to disciple our children (Ephesians 6:4). If I don’t do this, I am failing them, no matter how much success they may achieve in life. No matter how much scholarship money they earn, no matter how well-liked they are by their peers- it is all meaningless if I don’t invest in their eternity. When I stand before God, He won’t ask me about their worldly accomplishments; instead, He will hold me accountable for how I invested in their souls. I want to point them to Jesus. There is too much at stake if I don’t do so.
But before we can disciple someone else, we must first be disciples ourselves. What does this even mean? I’ve seen several definitions and will paraphrase a few:
A follower, a student, or a learner of a teacher; one who has a devoted allegiance to the teachings of a master; one who applies what they have learned and spreads the teachings.
If you read the Gospels, you’ll see this play out in the life of Jesus with the twelve disciples. We have a literal example of what discipleship looks like through the way Jesus shared life with them. He didn’t just tell them how to live; He showed them. He walked among them. Interestingly, “Christian” only appears three times in the New Testament, but “disciple” appears 269 times. This in no way diminishes the title of “Christian,” but it emphasizes the importance of discipleship. Jesus beckoned the twelve, “follow me.” He asks the same of us today. He beckons us to follow Him so that we can then lead others to Him and help them grow. Discipleship is that simple. Learn what Jesus said, and live out what Jesus did (Gallaty). Many of us are desperately trying to disciple our children, but maybe you haven’t been discipled yourself (and possibly not because of any fault of your own). We weren’t meant to do this alone. God’s design was for discipleship. If you are a woman reading this, and you’ve never had someone disciple you, please seek out a godly woman to guide you. Men, seek out a godly man.
Here are a few questions we can ask ourselves to assess if we are truly disciples of Jesus:
1. Am I in the Word daily?
It is everything. Everything. We are stunted without it. If I am to impart God’s Word to my children, I have to know it. Everything else flows from this. If you need to start today, start with the gospels! It is never too late to get committed in this area.
2. Am I modeling what it looks like to follow Christ?
If I am going to disciple my children, then the pages of scripture should come alive in my actions, my words, my decisions. They should see me follow the Lord and trust in Him, even when it is hard- especially when it’s hard.
3. Am I telling others?
Disciples spread the teachings of their master. Am I telling others about the life-saving power of Christ? Am I spreading the Gospel and fulfilling the Great Commission?
I love the verses above from the book of 2 Timothy. Go back and read them! Paul’s words are powerful. I am going to paraphrase. He reminds Timothy, “Remember, you’ve seen my victories, my steady faith, the way I live my life…” But here is the part that is halting: “You’ve also seen my losses, my devastations, the times I suffered and was persecuted…model me...”
Our kids see it all.
Here is why discipling our children may be one of the most difficult and most refining processes in life- they see everything. They see our church faces. They hear our voices raise a melody in worship. And then they see us in our daily lives. They hear our conversations, our grumbling and complaining, our gossiping. They see our reactions. Our hardships. Our stress. Our financial struggles. Our losses. Our grief.
And what they hear and see daily within our homes teaches them more about the Gospel than anything else. It will either confirm or contradict God’s Word. Taking our children to church is so very important, but it isn’t enough to truly disciple them. Discipling them happens when we daily choose to follow Jesus, when we daily dwell in His Word, and when we daily live as an example of its truth in the face of hardship.
Paul also tells believers in Corinth, “be imitators of me, as I am of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1 ESV). Whew, this verse convicts me! Could I honestly say these words to my children? Do I want them to mirror my walk with Christ? Do I want them to mirror my devotion? Because whether I invite them to or not, they will model me.
Here’s the deal- there is grace in our failures. My children have seen me stumble. They have witnessed me lose my temper. They’ve watched me struggle to live out the Word of God which I love so much. But what an opportunity we have before us to show them the grace of our Father on these days! What a chance to show them how the Lord’s compassion rises with the sun each morning as we extend that same compassion to them.
It isn’t always a good thing that my daughter imitates me. (My husband can vouch for this!) But I desperately want to be able to say to my children, “Be just like me because I am trying to be like Jesus.” It’s bold. It’s scary. But it is intentional discipleship. One of the greatest gifts in my walk with the Lord is that someone took me by the hand and showed me how to follow Jesus. And if we will commit to this, if we will let God’s Word dwell in us and through us, we’ll lead our children to streams of Living Water. They’ll never thirst there. They’ll find fulfillment there in the midst of famine. They’ll be in the Lord’s hands- their only safe place. It’s how we give them back.
Come back next week for Part III!