Giving Them Back- Part I

“I don’t want to hold my children so tightly that I can’t entrust them into the Lord’s hands, no matter how hard it may be. I want to love them well, and the best way I can do that is by pointing them to Jesus.”

 “For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him. Therefore I have lent him to the Lord. As long as he lives, he is lent to the Lord.” (1 Samuel 1:28-28 ESV). 

My 5-year-old is a bargainer, a deal-striker. Just recently she conned her swim teacher into not making her do certain skills at swim lessons. She had the victory that day, but she didn’t realize her teacher only conceded to reign in the anxiety she was feeling about going under water. She gave in momentarily for Avery’s good. Most of the time when Avery makes a deal, she doesn’t always keep up her end of the bargain.

“Ok, girl…you can drag out all of those toys as long as you promise to pick them all up without whining.”

“Ok, Mama!”

You know where this is headed. Flash forward to bedtime, and I have a whiny 5-year-old who doesn’t really want to make good on her end of the deal. But we are working on it.

I love the story of Hannah and Samuel, her son. In 1 Samuel, Hannah desperately prays for a child. During this time period, barrenness was the ultimate shame. And Hannah was momentarily barren. In Chapter 1, she goes to the temple with her husband for the annual sacrifice. She is broken and weeps in prayer for the Lord to give her a son. She vows to “give him to the Lord all the days of his life…” (1 Samuel 1: 11 ESV). Eli, the priest, witnesses her desperation and assumes that she is drunk! Once she explains herself, he tells her that God will answer her request. And the Lord does.

Did y’all catch that? Hannah vows to return her child to the Lord. What does that even mean? In this case, she literally promises to give him back to God. And when she has weaned him (possibly around the age of 3), she follows through with her end of the deal. She takes Samuel to the temple, to Eli, and leaves him there- for good. I can’t imagine the emotions rushing through her as she walks away from him, as she gives her little boy away.

And guess what she does afterwards? She worships.

I want to believe that I could follow through with such a promise, but the human nature in me would struggle. After waiting for years to have a child, she drops her son off with a priest, knowing he won’t come home. My heart would tremble. But Hannah’s heart overflows with worship and gratitude to the Giver of life.

Did Hannah know by releasing her son who he would become? A priest who spiritually advised kings, particularly David, who was part of the birth line of Jesus. And her son had a role in this! What if she had selfishly clung to him? Would Samuel have ever stepped into the role God ordained for him?

Maybe. But her faithfulness mattered. So does ours.

I love my children more than my words can convey. I love their little voices, their smiles, their squishy cheeks, their drastically different demeanors. I just love them. And a big part of me wants to hold on to them forever.

But they aren’t really mine to hold.

God loaned them to me. And if you are a parent, the Lord loaned yours to you as well. He entrusted them to us. But they are and have always been His. If we selfishly cling to them, what are we prohibiting them from becoming? What can the Lord do through them and in them if we willingly return them to Him? Maybe we sometimes forget that our children are also “… his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that [they] should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10 ESV).

What does returning our children to God even look like? What can we do to give them back to the One who gave them life?

1.     Surround them with Godly community

We aren’t dropping them off at the temple for good like Hannah, but it is critical that we consistently take part in the community of a local church. It is a commandment for all believers (Hebrews 10:25). The foundation our children receive from involvement in church is invaluable. They learn commitment and service to others. They form their own friendships with children who will grow with them and hold them accountable. I want my children to love the church the way God loves the church. I want them to grow to be leaders within the church, too. But if I am not consistently taking them now, they will likely struggle with commitment later. If you have small children, now is the time to instill an authentic love for Godly community. It isn’t always easy. The clutter in our lives threatens to diminish the need for devotion in this area, but it is worth it.

2.     Model commitment to God’s Word

This is crucial. We can take our children to church every time the doors open, but if we aren’t reading God’s Word and modeling it every day, then we are missing the sweetest blessing. The church comes alongside us, but we disciple our children. Its our greatest responsibility. It’s up to us to take our children by the hand and show them that God’s Word is alive in our own lives. That it’s active. That it changes everything. We speak it when we rise, when we sleep, when we rest, and when we move (Deuteronomy 6:7). We show them that God’s Word is so much more than a list of rules. We show them that it’s our very life: “Take to heart all the words by which I am warning you today, that you may command them to your children, that they may be careful to do all the words of this law. For it is no empty word for you, but your very life…” (Deuteronomy 32:46-47 ESV). And we do this by authentically living out its truth in front of them, even when its hard, even when its counter to culture.

When we commit to do these two things for our children, we are taking steps to return them to the Lord. Our own commitment to God does more to return them to Him than we realize.

I think Satan would love for us to believe that our children are our own. He would love for us to make idols out of them. He would love to distract us with everything else that our culture tells us matters- making sure our kids excel in sports and academics, making sure they are popular. And in fixating on these things, we could be hindering them more than we know. One thing I have learned is that any gift from the Lord is better served when I lay it back down at His feet. I don’t want to hold my children so tightly that I can’t entrust them into the Lord’s hands, no matter how hard it may be. I want to love them well, and the best way I can do that is by pointing them to Jesus.

Let’s show our children what devotion to the Father looks like. Let’s show them how to follow Him wholeheartedly. Let’s give them back. And then let’s worship the One who entrusted us to do so.

Join me here over the next few weeks as we explore what it means to disciple our children!