An Anxious Heart
“God is good, faithful, and giving. And He is so much more. If He is all of these things, what have we to fear?”
“Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7 CSB).
My first real memory of anxiety was in kindergarten. I was only 5 years old. I have a vivid memory of going to dance class for the first time. I was mixed in with older girls who could already stand on their tiptoes. I came home in tears that I couldn’t do what they could do, even though they had been dancing for years. And guess what? I quit dance. I only lasted for two weeks. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to do it. But my proneness to strive for perfection derailed me, even at the age of 5. Like some of you, this quality has only worked to fuel my anxiety over the years. I have missed many opportunities because I let a fear of failing keep me from even trying.
Over the years, my anxiety centered on several things- grades, sports, body image. That same pressure of doing everything with perfection always lingered in the background. It always hovered. As is the case with so many people, the anxiousness then led to stomach issues. It was a horrific, vicious cycle of physical sickness that plagued me all through high school, college, and even into my teaching career.
Now, my anxiousness concerns the heavier weights of adulthood- my children and their safety, sickness, grief and the fear of losing people, the state of our world. Thankfully the Lord has been so tender in walking with me. Through Jesus, I have learned how to manage my anxiety and exchange it for peace. It is freeing, but this doesn’t mean that my old tendency doesn’t rear its ugly head occasionally. It is a daily discipline in my life.
In the spirit of honesty, for me anxiety stems from a mistrust of who the Lord says He is. It hinges on the fact that I allow Satan to make me question if God is who He claims to be in the bible. What if He takes good care of other people but fails to do so for me? What if He forgets me, forgets my family? It creeps in when I feel a lack of control over my circumstances. It is crippling, robbing me of abundant life in Him. Now, please don’t mistake me- for some, anxiety is much deeper, triggered by trauma or loss. It goes much deeper than a discomfort with lack of control, and there is definitely a time for therapy or medication.
A few weeks ago, I had the chance to hang out with some precious college girls from another area church and lead their bible study. They were an amazing group of young women. Many of them are on the brink of major life changes and feeling anxious, so I shared with them some truths in God’s Word about anxiety. I have found that reminding myself of who the Lord is in scripture settles my anxious heart. It acts as a guard to protect my heart and mind. Here are a few of His qualities that we covered:
1. He is good: “You are good, and you do what is good…” (Psalm 119:68a CSB).
2. He is faithful: “if we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny himself” (2 Timothy 2:13 CSB).
3. He is giving: “If that’s how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and thrown into the furnace tomorrow, won’t he do much more for you- you of little faith? ...your heavenly Father knows that you need them” (Matthew 6: 30, 32 CSB).
God is good, faithful, and giving. And He is so much more. If He is all of these things, what have we to fear? Paul urges believers in Rome to “not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of [their] mind, so that [they] may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God” (Romans 12:2 CSB). There is our key; our transformed mind can unlock the chains that bind us to anxiety. We can overcome it! So how do we transform our minds when they are bent toward anxiousness and worry?
1. Get into God’s Word.
It is our weapon- our only offensive weapon. It is absolute truth against the lies that infiltrate our minds to convince us that God isn’t who He says He is.
2. Worship.
When I get into God’s presence, my eyes shift off of myself. So much of my worry is often self-focused. But when I am bowed before Jesus, my eyes can’t focus on myself. A heart of worship elevates Him to His rightful place in my heart. His presence is a beautiful reminder of His power and His sovereignty, even over my circumstances.
3. Find Accountability.
Sharing your anxious thoughts with someone else drags them into the light. This will help expose any untruths that have taken root in our hearts. Darkness and light can’t coincide. Speaking our thoughts to someone who can offer Godly wisdom truly helps to point out areas of God’s goodness that we are blinded to in the moment.
Here is what I know: anxiety is so hard. It is often silent and hidden. It makes you feel as if you are drowning in your own head. But here is what I also know: God can lift the weight. There isn’t a magic formula, and the timeline looks different for each person. But He lifted the weight of worry off my shoulders. It doesn’t consume me anymore. I know He can do it for you.
If you are interested in a great resource, I recommend the book and bible study, Get out of Your Head, by Jennie Allen!