What They’ll Carry
“Sin entered the world through one man, but through the Son of God, so did hope and redemption! And it is the very power that stops the generational curse. It gives us the freedom to show our children a better way.”
“Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned…. For if, because of one man's trespass, death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ.”
(Romans 5: 12, 17 ESV)
How can I put this? There are certain parts of who I am that I really don’t want to pass on to my children. My proneness to worry, for example. My insecurity. My impatience and impulsiveness. My migraines and bad back. You have things too, I am sure. Maybe it’s pride. Maybe it’s financial instability. Maybe it’s a struggle with addiction. Whatever it is, we all have qualities that we hope stop with us. We all strive to stop the generational cycle so that they don’t carry these issues around like heavy luggage.
Over the last year, my husband and I have been searching for answers for some medical issues with our son, Parker. We have seen specialists. His eyes have been checked. The doctors have conducted tests. What we thought were gastrointestinal issues seem to point more toward neurological issues. After several years, our little boy recently explained that his head hurts every single day. One morning while walking with me in our neighborhood, Parker was in tears. When I asked him if he wanted me to get some Tylenol, he responded, “It’s ok, Mama. I can push through. I have a headache every day and am used to it.” I never knew. He never mentioned it because it is something he had become accustomed to feeling all the time. As someone who suffers from debilitating migraines, I fell apart. I have feared this for years.
How can my 7-year-old already struggle with this? Is this my fault? I passed this on to him. Could I have prevented this? How did I not see this sooner? What else am I going to pass on to my children?
Enter guilt and going down rabbit holes. And Googling. And trying to fix the problem.
I know some of you understand this. You likely have physical issues you pray don’t carry over into your children’s lives, maybe ones that are much more serious. It ushers in a feeling of helplessness, doesn’t it? But there is something I realized this week while we began to piece together this puzzle with our son- we pass on something far worse to our children. We leave a legacy far more disturbing and more debilitating than the worse migraine. We leave behind consequences of our sin. And this should bother me more than my son inheriting my migraines at a young age.
Just as I never wanted my son to inherit this from me, none of us want our kids to inherit our sinful nature. But it is a repercussion of the Fall. Our sins are our own, but the consequence of our sin directly affects them. The consequence of how we walk with the Lord directly affects them. They are learning what our lives teach them. Am I passing on how to love Jesus- really love Him? Not just going through the motions of religion? Am I showing them what a heart looks like that is devoted to the Lord? Or are they learning from me how to be apathetic in their faith? Is my life teaching them that people don’t really have to change all that much when they commit their lives to the Lord? That they don’t really have to look very different from the world?
Here’s the good part- the sweetest, most inspiring part: we don’t just pass on the bad things. We get the chance to pass on the unwavering hope in affliction, the dedication to God’s Word, the forgiveness when we are wronged, the reward. We get to model these things! Sin entered the world through one man, but through the Son of God, so did hope and redemption! And it is the very power that stops the generational curse. It gives us the freedom to show our children a better way. They will have to choose for themselves one day, but we get to consciously decide what we pass on to them regarding our faith. We aren’t helpless in this area that matters so much; it matters more than anything else.
I hate the fact that my little boy seems to be struggling with something he likely inherited from me. I desperately want to change it, but I can’t. Instead, I am going to focus my attention on what I can control- modeling for my children a love for Jesus that is authentic and life-giving and joyful.
And I pray it’s what they’ll carry.